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For many writers and speakers, the choice between who and whom feels like a linguistic minefield. Even native English speakers often hesitate, fearing that using ‘whom’ might sound overly pretentious or that using ‘who’ in a formal document might signal a lack of education. However, the distinction is rooted in a simple grammatical principle: the difference between a subject and an object.
- The Fundamental Role of Subject vs. Object
- The ‘He vs. Him’ Substitution Trick
- When to Use ‘Who’ as the Subject
- When to Use ‘Whom’ as the Object
- The Role of Prepositions with ‘Whom’
- Modern Usage: Formal vs. Informal English
- Conclusion
- Frequently Asked Questions
The Fundamental Role of Subject vs. Object
To understand the distinction, we must first look at the grammatical case. In English, pronouns change form depending on whether they are performing an action or receiving one. This is a core tenet of grammar that helps clarify the meaning of a sentence.
What is a Subject Pronoun?
A subject pronoun is the ‘doer’ of the action. It is the person or thing that performs the verb. Examples include I, he, she, we, they, and who. When the pronoun is the one initiating the action, you should always use ‘who’.
What is an Object Pronoun?
An object pronoun is the ‘receiver’ of the action. It is the person or thing that is acted upon. Examples include me, him, her, us, them, and whom. When the pronoun is receiving the action or following a preposition, ‘whom’ is the correct technical choice.
The ‘He vs. Him’ Substitution Trick
If you find yourself stuck during a writing project, there is a foolproof shortcut used by professional editors. Because who corresponds to he (both subject pronouns) and whom corresponds to him (both object pronouns), you can simply swap the word in your sentence to see which fits.
- Step 1: Isolate the clause containing the pronoun.
- Step 2: Replace ‘who’ or ‘whom’ with either ‘he’ or ‘him’.
- Step 3: If ‘he’ sounds correct, use who. If ‘him’ sounds correct, use whom.
Example: [Who/Whom] wrote this letter?
Test: ‘He wrote this letter’ (Correct) or ‘Him wrote this letter’ (Incorrect).
Result: Who wrote this letter?
Example: [Who/Whom] should I invite to the party?
Test: ‘I should invite he’ (Incorrect) or ‘I should invite him’ (Correct).
Result: Whom should I invite to the party?
When to Use ‘Who’ as the Subject
The word who acts as a nominative pronoun. It functions as the agent of the sentence. You will primarily see ‘who’ in two scenarios: as the subject of a question or as the subject of a relative clause.
Interrogative Use
When asking a question where the person you are asking about is the one doing the action, ‘who’ is mandatory. For instance, in the sentence ‘Who is coming to dinner?’, the person is the subject performing the action of ‘coming’.
Relative Clauses
In a relative clause, ‘who’ introduces a phrase that provides more information about the subject. For example: ‘The architect who designed this building is a genius.’ Here, ‘who’ refers back to the architect, and the architect is the one who did the designing.
When to Use ‘Whom’ as the Object
The word whom is an objective pronoun. It is used when the person is the target of an action rather than the initiator. This is often more confusing because, in English questions, the object often comes before the verb.
Direct Objects
A direct object receives the action of the verb. In the sentence ‘Whom did you call?’, ‘you’ is the subject (the one doing the calling), and the person being called is the object. Therefore, ‘whom’ is the grammatically correct choice.
Indirect Objects
Similarly, if a person is the indirect object (the recipient of the direct object), ‘whom’ is used. For example: ‘To whom should I address the envelope?’ The envelope is the direct object, and the person receiving it is the indirect object.
The Role of Prepositions with ‘Whom’
One of the clearest indicators that you need to use ‘whom’ is the presence of a preposition (words like to, for, with, by, from, and about). In traditional formal English, a pronoun following a preposition must be in the objective case.
- To whom it may concern.
- With whom are you traveling?
- For whom was this gift purchased?
- About whom are they speaking?
In casual conversation, many people move the preposition to the end of the sentence (e.g., ‘Who are you traveling with?’). While common in speech, academic and professional writing usually prefers the preposition to precede whom.
Modern Usage: Formal vs. Informal English
Language evolves, and the distinction between ‘who’ and ‘whom’ is one of the most visible examples of this shift. In modern colloquial English, ‘whom’ is rapidly disappearing from spoken conversation.
The Shift Toward ‘Who’
In most casual settings, using ‘whom’ can actually sound unnatural or overly stiff. Most people use ‘who’ for both subjects and objects in daily speech. For example, saying ‘Who did you see?’ is widely accepted, even though ‘Whom did you see?’ is technically correct.
When You MUST Use ‘Whom’
Despite the trend toward simplification, there are still environments where precision is required. If you are writing a legal document, a PhD thesis, a formal cover letter, or publishing a book, adhering to the subject-object rule is essential to maintain a professional tone and demonstrate linguistic competence.
Conclusion
Mastering the difference between who and whom comes down to identifying whether the person is the actor (subject) or the receiver (object). By applying the he/him substitution trick and paying close attention to prepositions, you can navigate any writing task with confidence. While ‘who’ is taking over in casual conversation, knowing when to employ ‘whom’ ensures your formal communication remains polished and precise.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is ‘whom’ still used in modern English?
Yes, although it is becoming rarer in spoken English, ‘whom’ remains the standard in formal writing, academic papers, and professional correspondence to ensure grammatical precision.
2. Can I always use ‘who’ instead of ‘whom’ without being wrong?
In casual conversation, yes. However, in formal contexts or standardized tests (like the SAT or GRE), using ‘who’ instead of ‘whom’ as an object is considered a grammatical error.
3. What is the easiest way to remember the difference?
Use the substitution method: replace the word with ‘he’ or ‘him’. If ‘he’ fits, use ‘who’. If ‘him’ fits, use ‘whom’.
4. Why do some people say ‘Who are you going with?’ instead of ‘With whom are you going?’
This is a result of ‘preposition stranding,’ which is common in natural English speech. While ‘With whom’ is formally correct, ‘Who… with’ is more common in everyday interaction.
5. Does ‘whom’ ever act as a subject?
No. ‘Whom’ is exclusively an objective pronoun. If the pronoun is performing the action of the verb, ‘who’ must be used.
